BIG CHANGES · SMALL STEPS
What should a caregiver know before looking after an older child during a parent’s hospital stay or family transition?
Caregivers called in to look after an older child during a parent’s hospital stay or family change need clear, concise information. The goal is to reduce surprises for the child and the caregiver, preserve routines where possible, and provide quick strategies for soothing and transitions. Below are five areas to cover with a caregiver: daily routines, emergency and health basics, comfort and behaviour approaches, communication with the child, and a preparation/cleanup/review plan families can use to keep things straightforward and calm.
Share a concise daily routine and realistic flexibility
Give the caregiver a short, easy-to-follow routine that highlights non-negotiables (sleep times, main meals, medication if any) and areas where flexibility is allowed. A two-column format works well: left column lists fixed items (e.g., naps at 1–2 pm), right column lists flexible options (e.g., indoor play, a quiet craft, or a short backyard walk).
Include transition cues the child understands. If the child responds to a particular song, a special hand signal, or a three-count countdown, note that in the routine. These familiar cues help the caregiver move the child between activities with less resistance.
Set expectations around limits and rewards. Let the caregiver know which behaviours are calmly ignored, which require immediate intervention, and what small, on-the-spot rewards are used (sticker, extra story). Keep lists brief and concrete so caregivers can act without second-guessing.
Provide health, safety, and contact essentials (brief and practical)
List emergency contacts and one clear local backup contact. Include the child’s primary emergency contact, a local family contact, and the parent’s preferred hospital contact. Keep phone numbers and addresses up to date and place a printed copy somewhere obvious.
Note any medical needs succinctly. If a child has allergies, medication, or specific sleep requirements, write these in one short paragraph. Avoid medical instructions like dosage changes; instead note what is typical and where the caregiver will find medication and written instructions if needed.
Share safety rules for the home. Flag any areas that are off-limits (a closet with fragile items, a basement) and how doors are normally secured. These simple notes help prevent accidental confusion and reduce the cognitive load on the caregiver.
Comforting approaches and behaviour supports that are easy to follow
Describe calming techniques that work for the child. Mention tactile comforts (a favourite blanket), sensory cues (a dim nightlight), or distraction strategies (a practiced game title) that the child responds to. Keep descriptions short: “If upset, offer the blue blanket first; if that doesn’t help, try singing the two-song routine.”
Offer simple problem-solving scripts for common upset behaviours. Example: “If the child refuses bedtime, calmly say: ‘Bedtime now. You have two choices: read one book or pick a stuffed friend.’ If they refuse both, give a five-minute quiet time and try again.” Scripts reduce guesswork for the caregiver and provide consistent boundaries for the child.
Give guidance about how to talk about the parent’s absence. Use recommended short phrases the family is comfortable with and that are age-appropriate. For example: “Mom is in the hospital and the doctors are helping her get better. We can call tomorrow after lunchtime.” Agree on the exact wording so the caregiver provides consistent explanations.