DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP · PRIVATE BY DESIGN
Which questions should a family ask before allowing a child to join a multiplayer game or accept a new online contact?
Multiplayer games and online communities can be social and fun, but they also introduce new interactions and privacy trade-offs. Before allowing a child to join a game or accept a new contact, it helps to run a short family checklist together so everyone understands expectations and how to handle problems. The following questions and low-cost steps are designed to be adaptable by age and context.
Start with your family priorities
Before running a checklist, agree on what matters most for your family: privacy, screen time limits, who the child is allowed to interact with, and what types of in-game purchases are acceptable. Clarity about priorities makes it easier to answer later questions and to implement consistent rules.
Keep the conversation practical: discuss whether the child can create a username that doesn’t reveal full names or location, whether voice chat is allowed, and who in the household is responsible for monitoring or helping with account settings.
Essential questions about the game and contact
Use this short checklist before the child joins or accepts someone: What is the game’s minimum age and why? Does the game include open voice or text chat, and can it be turned off? Are there reporting and blocking tools, and how easy are they to access? Does the game collect personal data or location information? Is the game free-to-play but includes in-app purchases or loot boxes?
Ask who moderates the game community and whether moderation is active. If the game links to external platforms (Discord servers, social accounts), consider the moderation and age policies there too. For new contacts, check whether you know them in real life, whether they were introduced through a mutual friend, and whether their online profile seems consistent with a real person rather than a throwaway account.
Onboarding conversation and low-cost steps
When a child wants to join, run a brief onboarding talk that covers the checklist answers and the family rules. Low-cost steps include creating a family-approved alias, turning off voice chat by default for younger kids, setting strict privacy settings, and agreeing on a maximum time for online play per session.
Consider playing the game together for a short period so you can see the chat environment, types of interactions, and how new contacts behave. Use this time to show how to block, mute, and report players and to agree on signals your child can use if they want you to step in (for example, saying a pre-arranged phrase or simply calling you).